Too Ridiculous to be True
by Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay
Summary: While Obi-Wan, Anakin and Yoda are visiting Luke and Leia sometime after the events of RotJ an innocent question evolves into a rather . . . interesting revelation. One-Shot This is somewhat a sequel to 'Was NOT Part of the Plan' AUish


For those curious you _can_ read 'Was NOT Part of the Plan' before reading this but I don't think it's 100% necessary.

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A slight frown came to Obi-Wan's face as he stared at the computer screen. _No information is available for an Eoin Diarmid. Did you mean Ian McDiarmid or Eion Diarmide?_

It had been an innocent conversation about what their lives might have been like if they hadn't been found by the Jedi. Anakin had stated he would have been either a mechanic, a pilot, a racer or some mix of all three. Master Yoda was of the opinion that he would have been a teacher of students. Luke had been thrown for a loop and guessed that he most likely would have been a pilot or, Stars forbid, a Moisture Farmer; it depended on whether or not Anakin had gone undiscovered. Leia had been at a loss for words and had simply shrugged.

Then they had all turned to him since he had been silent. He had announced that he guessed that he would have been a negotiator. He had gone on to say that he was really good at it. Immediately he was asked if he knew what his parents had done which he responded that he didn't know since he had never looked them up before.

Anakin had suggested that he use the collected information contained inside the Imperial Database. He had little choice since Anakin had jumped up from chair, where he had been trying to bend his back into the most unnatural angle as possible, and pushed him in front of the nearest computer before tapping in the necessary codes to allow restricted files to be searched.

It hadn't taken much time to retrieve his birth certificate which contained his parents' names: Kyu-Ane Kenobi and Eoin Diarmid.

He had decided to research his mother first and plugged her name in a search window and waited for the information to be retrieved. A minute later he had several official and not so official records about Kyu-Ane. He learned that she had been a political figure on Stewjon for a number of years advocating change in the political system but she had stepped down during the Clone Wars. She had been married three times, divorced twice, widowed once and was the mother of five children; it was noted that he was illegitimate and had been given to the Jedi Order at the age of two standard years. She had died shortly before his physical body had been destroyed.

By examining holos of her family it appeared that he had inherited her eyes and a few other features from the Kenobi Family but no hint of where he had inherited his reddish hair.

He had turned away from the information about his mother and searched for information about his father; hoping that he would be a better example than his mother.

But his search for Eoin Diarmid had oddly turned up empty.

"Are you sure that you entered the right codes?" he asked Anakin.

"I put the right codes in." Anakin responded, sounding a little defensive. "Maybe you did something incorrectly."

Obi-Wan moved the chair just enough to allow Anakin access to the computer. He watched as Anakin checked and double checked the codes and the methods used for the search. "The codes are correct and it appears that you did everything correctly." Anakin said as he checked once more for any errors.

"Maybe he was a spy using a false name." Leia commented, speaking for the first time since he started his search. "But why would he have been on Stewjon?" she asked.

Obi-Wan let Anakin take the computer and watched as his former apprentice ran several independent searches. According to the records of the space port in Arthan, Stewjon's capital, an Eoin Diarmid had arrived via the _Laughing Star_ from Theed's space port on Naboo and two months later departed aboard _Shiraya's Moon_ returning to Theed's space port.

A quick search of Naboo's database yielded a few more scraps of information about Eoin Diarmid which were a birth announcement, a certificate of completion of school. A note saying that Eoin Diarmid had served his people for two years writing pamphlets about the history of Naboo, the Republic and the importance of knowing the past; even quoting a famous quote about those that don't know history being doomed to repeat it. Then last but not least admission into a small university to study literature.

There was no more information.

"It does appear that Eoin Diarmid might have been a cover identity since there seems to be so little information on him." Anakin relented after a bit.

For a few moments Obi-Wan sat back in the chair to think. It wasn't uncommon for intelligence agencies to give only the barest information when it came to an operative's false identity but something didn't Feel fight.

Going back to the information about his mother he quickly opened the transcript of an interview she had with some holonet talk show host about the men in her life. From what he was reading she seemed to be in love with Eoin Diarmid many years later and said that she had tried to contact him but had only been able to reach a Muun mentor of Eoin's and told her that he would tell Eoin that she called wanting to speak to him.

Curious he clicked on the interview to see and hear what Kyu-Ane had said about Eoin Diarmid all those years ago.

 _"_ _I met Eoin Diarmid twenty-nine years ago at the space port in Arthan. It was a clear, sunny day in late summer when this young human male with reddish hair and blue eyes came up to me and introduced himself as Eoin Diarmid. He said that he had just arrived on Stewjon and had seen my pretty face among a sea of faces. He asked me if I was willing to show him around including the Spires of Light."_

Obi-wan saw and Felt Anakin's confusion when Kyu-Ane mentioned the Spires of Light. It was understandable since there were legends about a large stash of both Jedi and Sith artifacts hidden somewhere within the formation. There was no proof that there were artifacts of any kind hidden among the Spires and the area had been searched countless of times before and during the Clone Wars that turned up empty. It helped that the Spires of Light were a popular tourist site and none of those that visited it or patrolled the area reported anything odd.

 _Kyu-Ane sighed, a happy expression plastered on her face._

 _"_ _We spent the two months talking about the political climate, seeing the sights of Stewjon and getting to know each other in more ways than one. He told me one day that he one day he was going to pen some of the greatest works in the history of the galaxy. They would be about forbidden love, loss, heroic deeds, world shattering betrayals and epic fights between good and evil."_

 _Tears slipped from Kyu-Ane's eyes and she blinked a few times._

 _"_ _I saw him off at the space port and that was the last time I saw him. A month later I learned that I was pregnant and tried to call him. I had grabbed him commlink his first week on Stewjon and wrote down the channels on it so I called one of the numbers and got in contact with some of his Eoin's mentors. They all told me that Eoin was busy with research for one of his books but they told me that they would tell him that I wanted speak to him."_

 _This time Kyu-Ane brought a handkerchief to her eyes to dab away the tears. Her face contorted in pain._

 _"_ _A month before I gave birth one of his mentors, a Muun, called me to tell me that Eoin had been killed when the transport he was on had been attacked by pirates."_

Anakin unexpectedly fell from the couch he had been lounging on to the floor; a move that if he had been alive would have surely caused not only quite the racket but possibly left an impressive dent in the floor. For just a second the Force flared with shock and horror before disappearing behind indestructible shields.

 _"_ _I never stopped loving him." Kyu-Ane told the interviewer and the audience._

"You know or at least suspect something." Obi-Wan stated when the chip ended; looking straight at Anakin.

Anakin looked away as he stood.

"Well?" Obi-Wan pressed; anger and frustration leaking into his voice.

Anakin visibly flinched no doubt remembering the physical, emotional and mental pain that until so recently usually accompanied a tone that conveyed those emotions.

"It's really too ridiculous to be true." Anakin finally stated rather stiffly.

"Tell us you will and decide we will if ridiculous it is." Master Yoda countered.

"You will hate me for even suggesting it." Anakin hedged.

"Can't be that bad," Luke pushed.

"Luke's right; it can't be as bad as you being our father." Leia commented with a slight smile.

For his part Anakin looked like he was going to be ill. Obi-Wan felt uneasy when he saw Anakin's expression. It must be bad if the younger Force User looked like he would be violently ill if he had a corporal form.

"About twelve years ago Sidious told me that he visited the Spires of Light on Stewjon under the orders of Darth Plagueis, his Sith Master. He told me that he had just one regret concerning that trip but he never revealed what it was. Plagueis also was a Muun." Anakin revealed slowly; as if he himself didn't quite believe what he was saying.

"He also asked about you a lot before the war and even during it." He went on; seemingly to gather steam.

"He even apparently intervened when Maul was causing trouble on Mandalore; but that could have been simply because Maul and Savage were rocking the boat where his plans were concerned." By now Anakin was babbling.

Obi-Wan felt numb but he held up his right hand which stopped Anakin's theory in its tracks and a flash of fear crossed his face.

"You think that Sheev Palpatine was my father?" He asked his former apprentice; incredulous.

Slowly Anakin nodded.

"Explain things it does." Master Yoda suddenly said. "Question your mother we did about your father, ver high Midi-Chlorian Count you had. Assumed he was born in the Outer Rim we did or falsified the results his parents did."

Obi-Wan couldn't help the pointed look he gave the elderly Jedi Master. He would rather have Master Yoda refuting Anakin's outlandish claim than support it.

Sighing he reached out into the Force looking for confirmation and found only eerie silence.

"Well, if he was my father at least he never raised me. I might have turned out as twisted as he was." Obi-Wan said thoughtfully.

Anakin gave a small laugh. "You might have replaced Maul, Dooku or both and the galaxy would have been in more trouble than a being caught in a sandstorm on Tatooine far from any kind of shelter."

Luke barked out a laugh; catching his father's reference.

"I hope you gave him huge headaches." Leia said with a hint off dark amusement.

"In the end it's just speculation but I hope that if it's true he sorely regretted ever meeting my mother." Obi-Wan stated.

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 **Finish**

Yes, I purposely used Ian McDiarmid in the search results to salute him for his role as Palpatine/Sidious/the Emperor. On another note Eoin is an alternative spelling or similar in meaning to Ian.

I started to write this on May 4th but this wasn't ready until now.

Well I hope you enjoyed this.


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